PRAYER

Do you believe in the power of prayer? I sure do. I may not get what I ask for but, I do know that if I don't get what I pray for, it wasn't in God's will.

I've learned a lot about God's will. Kelly and I were trying to get pregnant from the 1st day we got back together 5 years ago and really trying since we got married 4 years ago. I took fertility drugs to make sure I was ovulating. I was. I got pregnant right before our 2ND anniversary. I actually found out I was pregnant on our anniversary. It was a sweet anniversary present for both of us. 3 months later I miscarried. That was not so sweet. We continued to pray.. This time it was for strength to deal with a tragic loss. I knew that the baby was sick because I knew that God would not give me such a gift then take it away if the baby wasn't sick. The baby had a chromosomal defect. I never learned the sex, but I am pretty sure it was boy. I at least got to see it's heart beat along with my Mom. It was the greatest moment of my life.

This past December I had to have an emergency hysterectomy because I was basically eat up with endometerosis. I had it from my breast bone to my uterus. Everything was smushed together. The OBGYN told Kelly that it was all in my uterus and I wouldn't have been able to carry a baby to full term only to 3 months- therefore, that is what caused the miscarriage. The OBGYN didn't want to to the hysterectomy either but it was that or I would die. Thank God for Dr. B.

The day before my surgery, I had called some of my church ladies and told them I wanted them to pray that I wouldn't have to have an hysterectomy. They told me to pray for God's will. Well, being the stubborn one I just cried and said, I want a baby. I was in terrible pain. My heart was breaking and my stomach was killing me from the pain too. I eventually felt a calm come over me and knew that God was with me and that I needed to pray for God's will. I was saying the Apostle Creed when I went under for the surgery. When I woke up, I knew with-out being told that I had to have a hysterectomy. Dr. B. was the sweetest to me, he was apologizing for having to perform the surgery. My Mom and step-daughter took the hysterectomy worse than I did.

I know that God has a greater plan for me. I am a great step-mom and one day will be a great Mom to a child we have adopted. I sometimes wish that I could open my Bible and see a little note that God has written to me to let me know what his plan is.

God's will- I gotta pray for it, so do you...