Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

way ward love

Way ward LOVE







My heart aches


for the love we


once shared.


I know things


Can’t be the way


they were when


we were kids


But, oh how


The love was there.


you were so gentle with me


and wanted me to


always be happy, never to


cry.


I remember the nights you


would hold me and I felt


so safe in your arms.


We would talk for hours


about how our life would


be-Oh how wrong we were


Childish dream with childish love.






acb 9/28/11






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Friday, July 17, 2009

LADIES ONLY

This past weekend, Kerry & I had a girl’s only camping trip. It was fun and adventurous to say the least. Friday morning, I took Kerry to work then headed to Defeated Creek to start setting up camp. I thought getting there early would prove to be less hot that that afternoon. Yea, I THOUGHT! I found the camp site, pretty nice, right behind the bath house-yeah! In front of the dumpster. Awe man!

I unloaded the truck and set things in their rightful place. I unpacked my tent and began trying to set it up. Now, the tent I have was my Mom and Dad’s, it is a BIG tent! I laid it out and had to turn it around because I had the opening on the opposite side I needed it on. I then took out the poles and laid them out big to small. I knew that the longer ones went criss-cross and the smaller ones went vertical. So, I started with the longer poles, I got one side done, I was sweating bullets so I stopped and took the fan and cooled off for about 20 minutes. I did this until the tent was up. I then tried to put the dew tarp up; this was not an easy task. The tarp kept sliding off and all I could do was laugh. Finally, after about 20 mins of fighting the tarp, I got it on. Putting the stakes down was the easiest part of the entire process! I took a picture of the tent and sent it to Kelly and my Mom. I don’t think Kelly really thought I could do it on my own!
I was so stinking hot after setting up the tent, I took ice from the coolers and put it in my bra so I could cool off and sat around people watching till I had to go pick up Kerry from work.

I picked up Kerry and we went home to get her things and some wood. We went to my Mom and Dad’s because Daddy has wood for his smoker. We took about 4 logs and some kindling. When we got back to camp, my dear friend Paula was there with her 2 girls. The prettiest 2 little red heads God ever made (Paige and Alanna). Or Pooh and Buggie as I like to call them. Kerry set up her tent while the girls played at the playground. We had Frito pies for supper. Can we say Yum-o? Loved, loved it! After supper we went to the beach so Kerry could do a little night swimming. The rest of us just waded out a little bit; the water was a little chilly. We later came back to the camp and the girls had s’mores. Paula and I talked forever, trying to catch up. Paula and the girls stayed in my tent. I am pretty sure; I just passed out because I was so tired.

The next morning, Paula was up before me. The two of talked some more. We then decided that we were pretty hungry so we started breakfast, all 3 girls got up to the smell of bacon. You know, to me that is the best smell in the world. Bacon, frying at the campgrounds. Oh goodness. Fatback… I also scrambled eggs and fried biscuits. Paula and the girls had never had fried biscuits-they are hooked now! After breakfast, Paula and the girls left to go to a birthday party. Kerry and I ran out for some ice.

When we got back to camp, we headed to the beach. It was kind of cloudy but it was nice. The wind was blowing so you didn’t get hot and the water was warm enough to make you want to stay in there a little. Boats were coming by and making some of the biggest waves I had ever seen! It kinda felt like were in the ocean at times. Kerry got tired of the water so I head to my lounge chair while she went to take a shower. Again, I did a little people watching and of course some sunning. I turned over onto my stomach and fell asleep. I woke my self up snoring. Luckily there were so many kids around screaming, no one heard me. At least I hope they didn’t! I got up and headed back to camp, a little hunger pain started on my way there. Smoked bologna sandwiches sure were sounding good. Kerry was at camp listening to her MP3 player, when I got there, we fixed sandwiches, ate chips and people watched. Yes, I love people watching! After lunch, I took a nap; a not so nice nap ‘cause the campers next to us had 3 little boys who were yelling an honking the horn on their boat. When I finally got up an hour later, 2 of the boys were looking in my tent window. Luckily, I did have my swim suit on, so all they saw was my booty cheeks! Kerry and I went back to the beach and swam for about 2 hours. We came back to camp, took showers and hung out.

Kerry got a craving for pizza; I made her call Kelly to see if he would bring us one. A big fat NO! He was being lazy since he had worked a little. Remember, Kelly has been laid off since Nov. ’08 so he has gotten out of shape a little. She did everything she could to get him to come to the camp, but he didn’t. Poor Kerry! He did promise to buy her one when we got back home on Sunday. Kelly did tell us that some storms will be coming thru that night or the next morning. We roasted hot dogs and then loaded up as much of the truck that we could. All that was really left was the tents.

We talked for hours. Kerry wanted me to tell her some childhood memories I had. Of course most of them included my brother and it made me a little sad since he no longer wants to have anything to do with me and my family. But, I did have funny stories to tell, we laughed and laughed. She told me some stories about things that had happened before she became my child. We really did do some bonding. It’s really funny how much the two of us are alike. Kerry is really growing up and it makes me feel so good that I am having a hand in molding her into the beautiful young lady she is becoming. We got tired of talking and called it a night.

At 4:30 am Sunday morning, I was awoken by thunder. I sat straight up and looked out the window of the tent. I saw lightening, so unplugged my air mattress and went to the restroom. As I was walking back to the tent, the thunder got louder, I woke Kerry up and we started taking down the tents. Of course, my luck, it started raining! Needless to say, if the happened to have been a wet t-shirt contest at the time, I would have one! We got the tents down and threw them into the truck! As soon as we got in the truck, it quit raining! Dang it! We started to pull out of our campsite and the heavens opened up again, lots of rain! As we were pulling out of the gate we saw a 4 pointer laying the grass and a doe standing beside of the buck, we tried to take a picture but it was too dark and raining too hard. We made it back home safe and sound and wore out. Kerry was cute while we were taking the tents down in the rain, she looked at me and said, “ I had a good time till now”, I looked at her and said, “me too”.

I have a feeling she and I will try this girls only camping trip out again in the future!

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Monday, March 2, 2009

I watched the love shine through.

Most Sunday’s at church, I have the pleasure of watching a young mother and her toddler during the services. I have watched the Mother grown from a child her son’s age into the woman she is today. Makes me feel a little old. Katie and her husband were married shortly after Kelly and I. Their family grew while ours didn’t, but I am happy for them. Kyler is the sweetest little boy, when he wants to be… That’s what is Nonnie says anyway. He’s only been sweet when I am around him. Kyler was in my VBS class, so I have been around him quite a bit. Anyway, back to my story… Kyler was playing with his tractor during the sermon and waving at me, I was waving back to him. Shame on me, I know I should have been listening to Bro. Tom but, Kyler is more interesting. Sorry Bro. Tom, I am a sucker for little kids… Kyler then turned to his Mom, Katie and sat in her lap. He began rubbing her neck and then he started touching her face. It was soooo sweet! All I could think was will I ever be able to have that situation? Am I jealous? In a way, yes. Does it make me not to want to be around kids? Heck NO!!! I love kids, always have and always will! I have enough friends will little ones that I don’t think I will ever lack for love from a child.
Back to Katie and Kyler… Kyler looked at his Mom with such love and adoration that I began to tear up. Then Kyler decided he wanted to love on his Daddy. He moved to Kevin’s lap and loved on him a while but quickly moved back to his Mom. After services while we were leaving church Kyler and his Nonnie were walking out the same time we were. He said Hi Ms. Angie, I said hi back. I told him he sure was sweet during services and I loved how he was loving on his Mommy. Of course, he looked at me like I was speaking another language. I pray that one day, Kelly and I will be blessed enough to adopt, soon, I really hope. I want to experience the love that Katie and Kyler shared for those few moments.

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Last Post for 2008

Yep, folks, this year is almost over and for me it really is. I will be way to busy to post again. I hope you all have a very Happy and safe New Year. i know I will be partying down with some friends.

Christmas was awesome. Christmas Eve the Blackwell Gang came to the house and we celebrated with finger foods, way too much, I am here to tell you. The kids got gifts and had loads of fun. We adults just enjoyed each other's company. My sis in law and her fam came as well as my MIL and UIL. The MIL did good, I was so proud of her, no breakdowns at all. One slight one but I told her to suck it up. Not those words exactly but basically. LOL!

Christmas Day we went to my parents house and ate the traditional friend oysters and eggs. It was soooo gooood! Presents were given out by Kerry-she was Santa. We took turns opening gifts from youngest to oldest. I believe I had the most gifts this year, some really special ones, a cookbook from Trisha Yearwood, a cookbook from Disney World, and a Mickey Karate ornament.

Kerry had a great Christmas. She got a radio for her car and many other great pressies. I will post pictures next year.



Much love and I pray that everyone will have a blessed 2009.


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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

10/28/08'S BLESSING

What the Lord Is Saying Today
October 28, 2008. There is someone whom you need to love. By your standards, they do not deserve the love you know is required from you. You are wondering about the next step. Could I just share My heart with you for a moment. My love is unlimited and without boundaries. This is a love worth having. It is imperishable and unspeakable. Share it and give it in outlandish generosity. To share My love is to share Me because I am love. It is the core of My being. Therefore when you share My love, you are actually sharing Me. Humble yourself and grab hold of My grace within. Open the great river of life and love you hold inside. Let it gush forth and flood your situation. John 3:16-17. “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son to die on the cross for our sins so that judgment would not come to those who believe and they would inherit eternal life. He did not come into the world to judge the world but that through His death on the cross believers would be spared.”
October 28, 2008. There will be an unexpected contact. Someone is coming on the scene you do not know. Don’t dismiss this. I have sent them your way. You won’t know why they are there until later. You can make the decision whether or not they will stay. It will be evident as you go along if they are to remain. The reason for this is to teach you to walk in wisdom. If you seek Me with a willing heart, to obey at every juncture, I will show you what to do. Do not rely on your own understanding, because there are things good and bad revealed. Trust in Me in this adventure.Psalms 37:5-6 “Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your judgment as the noonday.”


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Tuesday, September 2, 2008

AND BABY MAKES 4....

This weekend Kelly and I have to decided to begin the adoption process.Yeah!!! We are going to start looking at which agency will be the best fit for us. We would like to go thru a christian agency. There is an agency thru the Methodist church that I am interested in. We have to pay $200.00 for apllication fee, then have an interview, then a home study and then wait for the birth mother to choose us. I would love to have this process to run smoothly. The money is another thing we are worried about. I know that the adoption fee is based on your income. How I wished that I had rich Uncle somewhere! HA...
I have read blogs that have a paypal for people to donate funds for adoption. Is this a route I want to take? Begging people (strangers) to help out with our adoption? Yes, I want a baby! I think I am going to pray and wait for God to lead us in the direction he wants us to take.
We had a great weekend. We stayed super busy! Staurday we helped Kelly's namesake Kelly Dianne celebrate her 13th birthday. Today is her actual birthday. Happy Birthday sweet Kelly Dianne! Sunday, was the Blackwell, Ford, Ray family renuion. It was super hot! We only stayed for about 2 hours because it was at the city park and felt like 300 degrees outside! Sunday night we went to Kelly's friend's Scooter's house. I met his new girlfriend Chelle. Not new to him but to me and Kelly. She was nice, we had a great time. We watched a Cat Williams DVD and laughed our butts off! We didn't get home until 2:30 am. I was back up at 8:00 am so, all day yesterday, I laid around!
I was lazy on my day off.
Please pray that our adoption process is quick!
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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Boy meets girl... 20 years ago

August 28, 1988, Kelly and I had our 1st offical date. After the football game that is. Kelly was a sophmore and I was a senior. Yep. I am 2 years older, even though he looks older... I worked in the concession stand that night. I had quit the band that year, I was sick of twirling. I have always been one of those people who has done things because people told me I couldn't because of my size. I wasn't the only "Big" girl twirling during my baton days, but I was the oldest.
Anyway, Kelly was playing football and I was doing everything I could to watch while working the concession stand. I can't rememeber who we played that night but I do remember us winning! I was standing at the end of the field after the game and he gave me a sweaty hug! It was nasty but so sweet at the time. Sometimes I wish we could back to those sweet inoccent all in love days!
Young love is so great!
After The game we went to eat then riding around town. I took him home and then went home. I remember thinking at the time, I really like this boy but I wasn't ready to fall in love. It was my SR. year and all I wanted to do is study and hang out with my friends and have the time of my life! I did all of that with someone I was head over heels in love with and had the time of my life!
I loved being in love and enjoying life.
Here we are 20 years later, married for 4 years and still madly in love with each other. Of course our love has matured but we still love each other!

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Friday, May 16, 2008

THE TEARS FLOW

I was reading my cousin Kelly's blog of her little sweetheart Cade and saw that she had a new blog that she read and I linked to it:http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/. Oh goodness, I felt like many of the words she had written are the things that I feel about my own loss. Even though I never met my baby I feel like it was a boy and I know that the baby knew that he is loved.

I know that the pain of the loss of a child never goes away, it just gets easier, but for me it seems to have gotten harder. I am sure that it is the fact that I will never carry a child in a womb that no loner exists. Please don't think, I am playing the pity party, this is something that I need to get off my chest. The whole thing is painful. The above blogger's name is also Angie. Wow, I know that God has lead me to her site for a reason. She co-wrote a song with her husband that Is absolutely beautiful and states many of the things that I feel everyday. It is called "I Will Carry You". Please visit the site and read the words.

I trust in the Lord and know that he has wonderful plans in store for me and will lead me as I go. I trust that the Lord will keep my eyes open so that I will see his plan in work. Sometimes it hard not to question why God has allowed something to happen. In Sunday School class we had this very discussion and our study book that we are using states that we should question our faith because it allows us to grow as Christians because we want to search for the answers.

I just ask that you pray that the pain gets easier and that God's will be done. Visit the above site..

Friday, April 11, 2008

SURVIVOR MAN














Yes, folks, I have my very own "survivor man". He is the man of my dreams... Most of the time! HA! Kelly is a full fledged hunter... He hunts turkey, deer, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits and he also fishes. Needless to say, our grocery bill is not that high when it comes to meat. No, we do not eat the masked man.. Gross.... Just recently he bagged his first turkey of the year. It wasn't much to talk about it since it was a Jake but at least he killed one and we have fresh wild turkey breast in the freezer.


I hate the taste of beef since we eat so much deer. There is a secret to making deer not have the wild taste. You have to beg to get the secret. We eat so much deer that I can make any recipe that calls for beef out of the deer meat and no one would be able to tell the difference. Our fav is country fried deer steak. I like wild turkey breast too. I'm not much on the rabbit or squirrel. My Flossie sure did like the rabbit and squirrel. When she was alive Kelly would make special hunting trips just to kill a mess for them to eat. I would try to eat it with them but, most of the time I would just eat cereal.

I had lunch today with a dear friend of mine, Christy. I haven't seen her since she got married in October, so it was great seeing her again. We do keep in touch by e-mailing each other but, we have families and busy lives and not enough friend time to spare. Even though we both crave it. We have a third musketeer that belongs on the group but you have to hog tie her to get her to quit working long enough to have fun. Yes, Paula, I am talking about you!! Hopefully we can make time to have a slumber party soon.




One thing I have learned since I was sick is, that you do everything you can do to have fun and enjoy the day with people you love and people that make you laugh. With those two, we never stop laughing. We do have moments when we've cried but, one of us would say something funny then we all three are laughing again. I love all of my friends and family. I hope that Kerry can grow up having as many friends that she can depend on that I have.










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Friday, September 21, 2007

LOVE

Love... such a powerful word that people use to easily these days.

I love my husband, my dogs, my mom, my dad... get the picture. How many people actually love their friends? I can honestly say , I do. There are a lot of people in my life that I am not afraid of telling them that I love them, but then are those I do and am afraid to say that I do for fear of how they may take it.

I am aching for the day that I can experience the love of motherhood. Don't get me wrong, I love Belle more anyone could (can), but she's not with me all the time and I ache to have the unconditional love that a mother-daughter can have.

The ladies karate class is going to Tully's Saturday night! I can't wait.. We are going have so much fun, great fellowship...