For my family...

~DEATH~ WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT..
A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to Leave the examination room and said, 'Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side.' Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know.' 'You don't know? You, a Christian man, Do not know what is on the other side?' The doctor was holding the handle of the door; On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, 'Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know l ittle of what is on the other side of death, But I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough.'
May today there be peace within you. May you trust God that you are exactly Where you are meant to be. I believe that friends are quiet angels Who lift us to our feet when our wings Have trouble remembering how to fly.

Sharpen your blade!

What the Lord Is Saying Today
September 24, 2008. Keep your blade sharp. You will save yourself much effort and time by doing so. Only a negligent hand and a dull mind would allow a dull blade to continue. I say unto you, you have done well to keep your blade sharp through the study of My word and the seeking daily of My wisdom. The devil, your mortal enemy, is constantly seeking ways to outwit and compromise you. Never let him get the upper hand. In My word is all you need to know about the enemy and how to defeat him. I say unto you visit your sharpening block or strap often. Enjoy the art and skill of keeping the finest edge possible. I have now instructed you.Ecclesiastes 10:10 “Since a dull ax requires great strength, sharpen the blade. That's the value of wisdom; it helps you succeed.”

September 24, 2008. There are many things which have concerned you. You and I know some are really bad. I know about them all. Nothing has come that I have not allowed. I am sovereign, but I did not cause them. We both have an enemy and he brings destruction and separation. You have responded in a good way. You are praying and rolling all these things over on Me. I am the One who lifts the burden. I am the one who brings conviction and restoration. You are praying and trusting Me, and this is the right way. These are not for you to handle. I turn bad things into good things.Romans 8:28-29 “That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son.”

BLESSING FOR THE DAY

A Fellow Co-worker sends these to me everyday. What a blessing it has been. I sometimes feel like these are written for me. I hope you are blessed today by this.

What the Lord Is Saying Today
September 23, 2008. Move out. Do not get frozen in indecision and double mindedness. You know by now that you will receive nothing from this mindset. But if you hear the Lord clearly and lift up your banner, it will become your standard. Think of it. What have I taught you that you have adopted as a family standard or banner. Have you not declared that God has given you and your family a new day and a new spiritual address? Have you not in fact walked away from some former hindrances? You have a new banner and a new standard. You are part of My mighty army in the earth. Angels have been assigned to carry out My word spoken in faith from the lips of believers. Now move out.Numbers 2:17 “Then the Levites will set out from the middle of the camp with the Tabernacle. All the tribes are to travel in the same order that they camp, each in position under the appropriate family banner.”

There is something you are continuing to ask Me how to handle. You are doing well because the problem has not been completely solved. There are several times you have been tempted to speak up. But you didn’t. It would have been the wrong time, so you are doing the right thing. I know you don’t want to act in the flesh. You want to follow Me. You are not sure you are hearing Me, but you are. Continue to wait on Me. Don’t jump ahead. I know this is hard but keep asking and keep following Me. I will bring a good resolution to the problem. Trust and watch Me. Psalms 37:3-4 “Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart.”

WHAT NOW?

Today I went back to see Dr. B about my foot. I am still having problems and he said it's just because I tore so many ligaments and tendons, it's just gonna take time to heal. I can continue to do the stretching that I have been doing. I told him that since I was there I needed him to look at my shoulder. Diagnosis: Bad Rotator Cuff. Treatment-Shot and wait 2 weeks. If not better come back in two weeks.
What the crap is gonna happen next? I am falling apart! LOL!!!

JUST ANOTHER DAY

The homefront is going smoothly. SD is doing the chores without issues. YEAH! We have not had drama in two weeks! Double Yeah! Big Daddy confronted about the cell, SD states it's just for looks. Let's hope so. SD did have a boy to ask her to be his girlfriend, she said no. I asked why? Boy is not for her she says. OK, what ever floats your boat.
I do wish she would get a boyfriend, because she wants one so bad. Sd did tell Big Daddy she wanted to be in the FFA. I asked don't you have to be in Ag classes? SD said she didn't know. We both said that it was ok to join FFA. Both Big Daddy and I were in FFA. We would like for her to get active in school activties. I think I was in every club you could be in. OF course, I was a social butterfly. SD is still a caterpillar. She will one day turn into a beautiful butterfly, I just feel. Right now, she is a beautiful caterpillar.
She is a good kid, she just has bad influnces. I don't know what it feels like to be a follower. I have always been a leader and had my own thoughts and acted on those. Noone ever told how to feel and act. My Mom showed me how to follow my heart. She was always there to make sure I didn't screw up, of course my head was always in the right and was terrified to do wrong.
I guess I am a people pleaser. I always wanted to do good in school. I always wanted people including my parents to be proud of all of my acomplishments. That's why I never go into a lot of trouble and have a hard time understanding why SD gets into so much trouble by allowing others to influnce her.
Just a thought...

9-11-01

Do you remember what you where doing that tragic day? You remember how you felt? I do and still do. I was at work and the guy I was dating at the time called me and told me what had happened. The company I was working for at the time had the corp. office in NY so we were on the phone trying to find out what was happening. Of course we couldn't get through to anyone. No phones, faxes or email. Our Mgr. went home and brought back a TV so we could watch everything enfold. Tragedy... All around. We all sat around with tears in our eyes and prayers in our hearts. Those poor people and their families.
That night I went to church and prayed with everyone there.
I pray that we continue to be affected by what happened that day because I have a cousin who is going to Iraq to be a Civil Firefighter. Please pray for all of the people overseas who fighting for some reason, be it fires or freedom. They all are there for our FREEDOM.

Thank you for our freedom.
Angie

My Step-Daughter Hates ME.... Then She loves me...

I am soooo sick of the drama that comes along with having a step-daughter and an ED. The ED wrote step-daughter a letter with DCS's phone number and the police phone number on it and said to call her before she called either one and she and ED's husband will come and save her. Save her from what? LOVE, Stability, Happiness? I hate when she spends more than 2 days with ED because ED puts crazy crap in her head. I knew something was up when she came home on Monday because she was acting all sad and depressed. She said nothing... I knew something was wrong. Man, my gut is always on the money when it comes to her.

ED has told Step-daughter that I am the reason that she and hubby got divorced. Yea, not!!! I was living with a wack-a-do myself at the time, trying to marry his crazy butt. Ed was ceating on hubby, no the other way around. ED apparently has told her all kinds of crazy crap, because she blirted out that she hates me and has never liked me. (WHAT?) (head starts spinning around)
I told her she sure has carried out a lie for 5 years, that scared me that she could lie that good for so long. I told her I felt betrayed and how could she carry a lie like that for so long? No kidding ya'll she took the attitude in her voice and looked me dead in the eyes like she was possesed and said " I keep my friends close and my enemies closer" I had to laugh... I never thought of myself as her emeny. ED's maybe but not hers. She also said she hated me because I tried to be her Mom. I said, No, I am trying to be a Mother figure to her. Her ED is unable to act as a mother mentally, physically and emotionally, and that I felt that she needed someone to show her what a real mother and woman really is.

I advised her that everything I have done for was out of love not pity. But, from now on, there would be no more chores, allowance and extra fun for her out of me. I would continue to take her to church 'cause Lord knows she needs it. I feel like she has the devil deep in her! I am not even playing around. This kid is not grateful for anything her Dad and I have done for her.

She is all the time stealing and lying to us and I have had enough. I will continue being nice to her but any extras are out! I am sick and tired of this! Of course hubby took up for her, even when she was saying all the terrible stuff about me. How dare he. Yes, that is his daughter, but I am his wife. He knows she is wrong and told her so, but never took my side... He did tell her that he too felt betrayed because before we even got married we asked on numerous occasions if she like me and if she didn't we wouldn't get married. Her answer to that was... I wanted my Daddy to be happy and you make him happy... Well, guess what little girl... Ain't nobody happy right now except your ED because she knows that she has screwed with us once again... Please leave us the heck along... Miserable people suck... She is not happy in her marriage so she is trying to screw around with ours. I wish she would leave us along... All 3 of us... This woman is such a wack-a-do... She should be locked up! Somewhere where she can't have any contact with any of us... Yes, I now that is harsh but, that is how I feel. I really feel worse things than that but I don't want ya'll to know how messed up she has made me...

I couldn't sit still because I was so upset so I started doing laundry and cleaning and Hubby spoke to step-daughter alone. The next thing I know is, she is coming in the kitchen asking to speak to me... Being the B*tch I am suppose to be, I told her I really didn't want to hear anything else. She had said enough. She said that she really didn't mean that she hated me and that she does love me and loves that I am trying to help her have a good childhood. Yeah right... She only said that because she knows, that is what hubby wanted to hear. I told her that at this time, I still feel like she is lying because she knows that it will get her out of trouble with her Dad. Not me...I know how she is, what a liar she is. I can not trust her anymore and, I will treat her like she is a guest in my home.

This morning she rode the bus because I feel that me taking her to school is a privilage (sp?) and apparently she doesn't like those. So hate it for her...

So please pray that God will touch step-daughter's heart and let her know that I am not the evil step-mom that Ed has protrayed(sp?) me to be.

If you want to hate me go ahead... If you were there then you would be ok to feel the way I do. If you haven't experienced it... Don't Judge...

Peace out from the Not So Evil Step-Mom!

AND BABY MAKES 4....

This weekend Kelly and I have to decided to begin the adoption process.Yeah!!! We are going to start looking at which agency will be the best fit for us. We would like to go thru a christian agency. There is an agency thru the Methodist church that I am interested in. We have to pay $200.00 for apllication fee, then have an interview, then a home study and then wait for the birth mother to choose us. I would love to have this process to run smoothly. The money is another thing we are worried about. I know that the adoption fee is based on your income. How I wished that I had rich Uncle somewhere! HA...
I have read blogs that have a paypal for people to donate funds for adoption. Is this a route I want to take? Begging people (strangers) to help out with our adoption? Yes, I want a baby! I think I am going to pray and wait for God to lead us in the direction he wants us to take.
We had a great weekend. We stayed super busy! Staurday we helped Kelly's namesake Kelly Dianne celebrate her 13th birthday. Today is her actual birthday. Happy Birthday sweet Kelly Dianne! Sunday, was the Blackwell, Ford, Ray family renuion. It was super hot! We only stayed for about 2 hours because it was at the city park and felt like 300 degrees outside! Sunday night we went to Kelly's friend's Scooter's house. I met his new girlfriend Chelle. Not new to him but to me and Kelly. She was nice, we had a great time. We watched a Cat Williams DVD and laughed our butts off! We didn't get home until 2:30 am. I was back up at 8:00 am so, all day yesterday, I laid around!
I was lazy on my day off.
Please pray that our adoption process is quick!